Most of us have experienced feelings of doubt and unworthiness at some point in our lives. But when your accomplishments are a result of your own knowledge, hard work, and preparation and you still feel inadequate ... you're probably suffering from impostor syndrome.
People who suffer from this syndrome often feel like frauds -- despite being smart, skilled, capable professionals who actually deserve whatever commendations and praise they're given. Rather than celebrating their accomplishments, they worry that they've somehow tricked people into thinking they're good enough. As a result, they live in fear of being "found out" or "exposed."
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TIPS FOR COPING WITH IMPOSTOR SYNDROME
Impostor syndrome is actually fairly common: 70% of people have suffered at one point or another. So if you feel like you're suffering from impostor syndrome or something like it, know that there are ways to curb these feelings.
RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS
People often overlook the signs of impostor syndrome that come up in our day-to-day lives. However, recognizing these signs is the first step toward overcoming them. You might suffer from impostor syndrome if:
- You feel like you "got lucky" when you actually prepared well and worked hard.
- You find it hard to accept praise.
- You apologize for yourself when you didn't actually do something wrong.
- You hold yourself to incredibly -- sometimes impossibly -- high standards.
- You find the fear of failure paralyzing.
- You avoid expressing confidence because you think people will see it as overcompensating or obnoxious.
- You're convinced you're not enough.
Highly accomplished people have spoken about their impostor syndrome;
Tina Fey, from her book Bossypants "The beauty of the impostor syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of: ‘I’m a fraud! Oh God, they’re on to me! I’m a fraud!’ So you just try to ride the egomania when it comes and enjoy it, and then slide through the idea of fraud.”
Civil Rights Activist Maya Angelou "I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.'"
DON'T LET PERFECTION GET IN YOUR WAY
Being a perfectionist can be a major roadblock for overcoming impostor syndrome. Perfectionism only feeds into your impostor syndrome. When you feel like a fraud, it's usually because you're comparing yourself to some *perfect* outcome that's either impossible or unrealistic. At some point, you need to take a step back and ask yourself: When is good enough good enough?
While striving for perfection is certainly noble, it's usually not realistic -- and often, it's counterproductive and will only make you feel more like a fraud.
TRACK AND MEASURE YOUR SUCCESS
When you feel like an impostor, one of the hardest things to grasp is how much of a role you have in your own successes. You might default them to luck or others' hard work, when in fact, your own work, knowledge, and preparation had a lot to do with it.
To help show yourself that you're actually doing well, keep track of your wins in a private document.
There are a lot of different ways to track these successes, and the metrics you use will depend entirely on your job. If you're a blogger, you might keep track of your posts' monthly average page views and watch them go up, or compare them to the team average. You might also keep a separate tab to paste kind words people have written to you via email, Twitter, blog comments, and so on.
LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HUMILITY AND FEAR
Sometimes, simply being good at something can cause us to discount its value. It all boils down to feeling unworthy. Seth Godin said: "When you feel unworthy, any kind response, positive feedback or reward feels like a trick, a scam, the luck of the draw."
But it is possible to feel worthy without feeling entitled, and overcoming impostor syndrome is all about finding a healthy balance between the two. Godin goes on to write, "Humility and worthiness have nothing at all to do with defending our territory. We don't have to feel like a fraud to also be gracious, open or humble."
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
Negative self-talk is a bad habit, and it can heavily influence our stress and anxiety levels. Impostor syndrome often manifests itself as a voice in our heads, berating us with negative messages like "you're not smart enough" or "you're a fraud." "Being kind to yourself" simply means changing the way you talk to yourself in your head by practicing positive self-talk. Not only can it help you become less stress and anxious, but it can also help you build the courage to do things that'll bring you greater rewards.
Psychologists have found that repeating affirmations like this can improve stress and anxiety levels, perhaps because these positive statements build a bridge into your subconscious mind.
EMBRACE THE FEELING, AND USE IT
It's really hard to get rid of impostor syndrome completely -- especially if you've had it for years and years. The fact that hugely successful people like Maya Angelou and Tina Fey feel that way after all they've accomplished is evidence that it can sometimes be a lifelong condition.
That's why the best angle from which to tackle your impostor syndrome isn't getting rid of it completely; it's stopping it from hindering your success.
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about the contributorS
Lindsay is looking forward to beautiful fall weather in New England. You can find her trying out new banana bread recipes, playing squash, or cheering in the stands at Fenway Park. She loves creating educational content for marketers – Don't forget to follow her on Twitter at @lkolow.
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Jesse Kerr - Creative Commissioner | Sandbox Centre
Jesse is always multitasking.. . . and seems to thrive when juggling priorities and deadlines. He'd tell you he's adaptable because he builds in room for error, adjustment, improvement, alteration and mitigation of foreseeable road blocks into his vision. However, anything that falls outside of this range of acceptability is quickly dispatched because "ain't nobody got time for that"! He's not good at collaborating in large groups - but he sure is good at entertaining them! We're pleased to offer you his perspective that includes his margin for error; alongside an imagineered vision of greatness. Question is - are we going for good, better or best? Cheers!